State of My Mind

I don't always like to complain, mostly due to my so called work ethic, but at some point I have to be honest with myself and realize I lost something along the way. Somethings just trail off the list when clearly they should be priority.

These days it always feels like a drain every time I get to work. Either I am unhappy at work or I can't appreciate what I have. No matter how I cut it, I know I'm not performing up to my expectations (and giving less effort that I should).

I can't run away from work. I have to prove to myself I am capable of getting things done. How do I get there? I don't know, but I need to get there soon.

For now though, here's to better days ahead.

Back to the Present

...Still alive...Tired...Busy...Happy...

Lots of things have happened in the past few years: Marriage, Kid, House, and too much more to list. No real reason to start writing again, but seemed like a pretty good idea on a Sunday night. Looking back at things, there's quite a bit of stuff that I would like to have done these past years, but overall I'm really happy with how things have been.

For the moment though, time to tackle some laundry.

Don't tell me you've never gotten the Led out!

I have been thinking the past few days about an something that struck me a while back. I was in my car listening to the radio when I heard the standard 5 o'clock Led Zeppelin intro on KSHE95. I can't remember what song they played (I just know it was off the How the West Was Won album), but I turned the radio up and just listened. About halfway through the song I realized just how great Jimmy Page was at playing the guitar. So I thought to myself, if there is someone THIS good at the guitar, there has to be something that I'm THAT good at. Every now and then I try to think what I'm THAT good at, but always come up with nothing. Just kinda makes me think if I should be doing what I'm doing. Just food for thought I suppose.

F*** Work

This shit just sucks. I'm sick of working like this. It makes you feel like you can't get anything done, and when you do there's 10,000 more things that have to be done next. I don't ever want to have to deal with this kind of crap again.

...

Hello. It's been a while since my last post, and I really don't have a good reason why I haven't been posting. I have an internet connection, I have things I could post about, but I just haven't felt up to writing. I finally have my one-way return ticket, scheduled for December 15th. Some people may not understand how happy I am to be coming home, because I CANNOT wait to get back. This whole job has been a great experience, though I must reiterate experience because other than getting to work with some great people I can't say I have gotten much out of the trip. Firstly my view of Fru-Con has been soured since they seem to be well known for missing deadlines (i.e. "It'll only be for 3 to 4 weeks Matt"). It wouldn't be so bad if it were a one time occurance, but this seems to be all across the board. Secondly I've become markedly more grim about my job. I hate to think what would happen if I got back and they tried to send me somewhere else. I would like to think I would tell them to shove it, but that's a lot harder said than done.
There may be some job changes brewing, but it's still early for that.

(Now comes the sappy part)

At least there are people (they should know who they are) that always seem to brighten my day, no matter how bad I feel. I don't think I could have made it down here without them.

(End sappy part)

Goodbye for now. Hopefully I'll start posting more, though I'm notoriously bad about posting when I'm in St. Louis. If I don't post by then, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

Pretty Neat

http://www.childsplaycharity.org/

Sweet Home Chicago

Watch the movie, listen to the soundtrack. I've done this quite a few times, and I seem to be listening to more and more blues music. Not a genre I traditionally listen to, but it's growing on me.